After the uproar of the previous night's Tribal Council, the thoughts at the Thal tribe turn to the tribal merger which will occur in just a few days.
"I think we clearly need to make plans as to which of the Kaled tribe we vote off first," notes the Rani. "Soldeed, he's psychotic. That Susan will get tiresome very quickly. And Adric is a pervert."
"Adric is in our tribe," notes Leela.
"Your point being?"
Meanwhile, spirits are high at the Kaled camp. "Clearly, we need to strategise," says Liz. "If we win the next Immunity Challenge, the balance of power in the Death Zone will rest with us. "We should form a voting allegiance such that we agree to only vote out Thal tribe members until we've done away with them altogether, and only then will we begin to vote against one another, at which point obviously it would have to be a case of letting the best player win. But I think it would be utterly farcical to do otherwise, as it grants us an assured place in at least the final six. So winning the next Immunity Challenge is absolutely imperative. Are we all agreed?"
"I think I liked you better when you were sick and couldn't string three syllables together," mutters Peri.
Bernice, meanwhile, is unsure about the idea of forming a voting bloc. "I prefer to go with my conscience on these things," she says. "And if that doesn't work, a few pints of lager usually make up my mind."
Back at the Thal camp, the Monk has revealed a secret passion of his that he has finally decided to indulge while in the Death Zone: shedding his monk's habit to reveal what he wears underneath...
"There is absolutely nothing more shameful than a man who likes to run about in a beige sequined polyester disco outfit," moans Adric straightening his yellow jumpsuit.
"What can I say?" says the Monk. "I'm a Travoltist. It's just a shame I couldn't bring my Horshack clothes, too. If I could, I'd dress like John Travolta every hour of every day, but unfortunately, I've got this "Monk" handle to live up to. While I'm here in the Death Zone, though, I figure, why not? At least for a little while."
After much protests from the others, the Monk finally agrees to throw back on his regular clothes, though he makes no guarantees that he might not run around in his disco suit again.
Controversy rages around the Kaled camp this morning, anger apparently having boiled over form a late-night conversation.
"Soldeed said that women are the lowest form of life in the universe, next to cattle," repeats Susan, plainly appalled.
"Not true," retorts Soldeed. "Cattle are infinitely superior to women. Please stop insulting the bovines."
"And to make matters worse, Ben agreed with him," says Liz of the Kaled tribe's other remaining male.
"All I did was laugh a little!" Ben protests.
"Laugh, chuckle, guffaw, nod vigorously, slap Soldeed on the shoulder, and give him two thumbs up for five minutes," amends Benny.
"Well, um..."
"And then spend the next hour going up to us and asking 'where's the beef?'" finishes Susan.
"Oh. Yeah. Uh.... so, that Davros is a real jerk, huh?"
Later that afternoon, our host, the irrepressible Jeff Probst, appears hologrammatically to both tribes to announce the next Reward Challenge. He instructs them to meet at one of the southernmost points in the Death Zone that evening.
When the Thal and Kaled tribes reach the designated spot, they discover they are on a cliff face overlooking an old, battle-scarred bunker. "Back in the Old Time during the war against the Shobogans, this was one of the High Council army's most remote outposts," Jeff explains. "And, given what a lazy bunch the High Council is, they never did get around to cleaning it out. Somewhere amongst all the junk in the bunker are two laser pistols, two palm communicators, and two cans of old-style military rations, which I wouldn't recommend you try to eat after all these millennia.
"You have to send one person into the bunker to try and find one item. As soon as they find something, they come out, someone else goes in. If you find all three items before the other tribe, you win immunity. Make sure you don't duplicate an item, though, or you lose! This may indeed be foreshadowing!"
To start things off, the Thal tribe sends in Leela while the Kaleds send in Bernice. After much searching around in the creaky, debris-strewn interior, Leela gets distracted by something shiny which allows Bernice to emerge with one of the laser pistols. She hands off to Ben.
Leela is not too far behind with a palm communicator, however, and Adric races in once she returns. Ben is having a lot of trouble finding anything in the darkened bunker, and Adric soon stumbles upon the other laser pistol. Nearly wetting himself in his excitement, he races outside and hands off to the Monk.
The Monk is already inside looking around when Ben finally finds one of the cans of rations, covered in fungus and looking generally quite disgusting. Panting, he races back out to the anxious Kaled tribe and Soldeed heads in in his place. No sooner does Soldeed set foot in the outpost, however, than the Monk comes thundering out past him.
"Oh, bad news, Thal tribe," Jeff announces as the competition comes to a halt. "I'm afraid the Monk retrieved the other palm communicator, which is the same thing Leela brought out. You guys lose this one... the Kaled tribe gets the reward, which this time out is a whole crateload of brand-new Capitol Guard rations. Congratulations!"
Dejection is the order of the day at the Thal campsite, though whether the cause is the tribe's Challenge loss or the lingering memory of the Monk in Saturday Night Fever dress is not entirely clear.
Midday, Castellan Kelner and a troupe of his most elite Capitol Guards visit the two tribes to announce the latest Immunity Challenge: a military obstacle course, exactly the kind of thing the Capitol Guards used to do before they got lazy and corrupt.
That afternoon, the two tribes gather at a spot in the shadow of the Dark Tower, where Jeff awaits them. He tells each tribe to choose four representatives to run through the obstacle course; the others will wait for them at the finish line and cheer them on. Racing for the Thal tribe are Leela, Adric, the Monk and the Rani. The Kaled tribe decides to go with Ben, Bernice, Soldeed and Peri.
Things are neck-and-neck until the climactic part of the race, which involves arranging pylons in a precise geometric configuration to build a bridge. "I can do this!" ejaculates Adric "This is math! I can do this!" Grabbing a stick and making furious calculations in the sand, Adric solves the problem and quickly instructs the others as to how to arrange the bridge. The quartet crosses over it to the finish line, winning the race for the Thals.
"I did it!" squeals Adric. "I won the Challenge for us! See, I am useful! I really a--" At which point the Rani reaches over and knocks him flat, to which there is much rejoicing.
That night, the Kaled tribe makes the trek back to the Dark Tower for Tribal Council...
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